My Tribe

A lot of beautiful people played a huge part when I wrote my book. I’m going to take a moment to thank them. They are an including, loving and generous bunch of people, and I lovingly refer to them as my “tribe.”

Yesterday, I got to see the reason we all come together; Gavin DeGraw. Such an amazing artist, entertainer and all over great guy! Some have claimed my book is about him. Now, I can tell you this; Honestly, it’s not. But it could have been. It could be about anyone, but the thing is; we all dream about someone, right? And that’s the gist of it all.

Gavin brought so many people together, I’ve made friends from all over the world. People I can trust and depend upon. People I can laugh and have a good time with. People who won’t judge me for my occational “fangirling,” simply because they know what it’s like. 

These are the people I based my book upon, and these are the people I’m proud to say are my TRIBE. ❤️
You can get my book here.

Thank you!! 

Love, Gry. 

Love Comes Twice – OUT NOW!

facebook out nowI hereby present to you my debut novel “Love Comes Twice.”
I started this project not knowing for sure I would finish.
That seems to have been my way through life, start something, get bored and put it away. Start something else…
I have to say thank you to my friends Sandra and Elvira today.
They have been a massive support and have kept me going through every page, pushing me to write more, challenge myself and actually finish something, for once.
I will thank my family for putting up with me when my mind has been elsewhere, deeply buried in a fantasy, trying to figure out which parts of it to put down on paper.
And I have to thank my friend Heather, for making sure I’m not making a complete fool of myself. 🙂
To all the people who have preordered the book and supported me along the way, I am ever so grateful. This is for all of you.
Early on, I decided to self-publish.
Who’s to say my work is good enough to be published?
Well, you. And I.
You are my only critic.

From me to you, with all the love in the world – Thank you.
❤ Gry Sorensen

You can download from iBooks or these sites:
Smashwords
Ebok.no
Barnes and Noble
Inktera

Five days left – New chapter for you.

We’re now down to five days.
Five days until I let everyone in on what I’ve been working on for the better parts of a year. Five days until you get to read the story about Emma and Parker from start to finish. Five days.
When I started this project, I never really believed I would finish it.
I’m very proud of myself that I actually did!
Today, I’m giving you another Chapter for free.
It will be the last one, if you want to know what happens after this, you’ll have to order the book. I hope you do.
I also hope you’ll let me know what you think.
Leave a comment, write me an email. Tweet me.
So, until sunday; enjoy!

5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 – Gry

 

Chapter seven

Parker

I walked to the bar and ordered drinks for everyone. The bartender seemed more than happy to have us, and made it easy for me, “Just sit down, I’ll bring everything over.” “Thanks,” I said and handed him my card.
They were about to close, but as the owner was still there, and he was clearly a fan, we had been let inside as he showed everyone else the door. When I say we, I mean the band, some of the crew, a couple of bodyguards and Sophia and Emma. I asked if the two of them wanted to come have some drinks with us after the show. They both seemed surprised, but also happy about it and agreed to join us. I knew it must have been hard for Emma to say yes this soon after Tom, so I was taking care of her as best I could. Happy the owner left us alone and even happier there were no other fans, I allowed myself to let my guard down a little. I went back to the group that was now seated around a couple of tiny little tables and sat down next to Emma. The boys were relaxed and apparently not afraid that either Emma or Sophia would betray them and run off telling all of our secrets, so some really great stories about touring and fans were running wild around the tables. They listened with big, round eyes, surely not believing what they were being told, but they laughed nonetheless. The bartender came over with a tray full of shots. Tequila! I kept an eye on Emma to see her reaction, knowing tequila would go down fast with the band and crew. She looked like she could hold down a drink, even though I hadn’t really seen her intoxicated before. I grabbed two off the tray before anyone could reach it, handed her one and took one for myself. Shortening the distance between her face and mine, I leaned towards her.
“I dare you.”
She laughed at me, took the glass and kicked it back, slamming it on the table. Shit, she beat me to it? The guys cheered and whistled for her, so I just followed her lead and swallowed back my own drink.
“You’re fast!”
She shook her hair back and laughed.
“Yeah, this isn’t my first bar brawl.”
I shoved my chair back slightly, simultaneously sneaking it closer to hers. She didn’t say anything, just looked at me with her head tilted to one side, probably wondering what I was doing.
“Not very smooth, Parker,” I thought to myself.
“Baby steps, Parker,” followed.
We were seated pretty close now and when I laid my arm on the armrest, it would touch hers. Skin to skin. I left my arm there, not moving. My other arm would have to do all the work this evening. We spent an hour like this, chatting about old times. I even brought up that time she’d fallen on her ass in front of me.
“Do you remember?” I said, and smiled.
She blushed and I loved it.
“I was sick, you know, but I didn’t want to miss that show!”
Sophia added to her explanation.
“Yeah, she had a fever and I told her to say in bed. Let’s just say she didn’t agree!”
I looked at Emma again. She was looking at her hands, but there was a smile on her face.  “You’re a little crazy, you know that?”
Caden laughed.
“Yeah, and you love it!” she spat back with a wicked grin.
Caden shrugged and I knew she had him. My girl could charm anyone. Wait. My girl. When did I start thinking about her as my girl? In my dreams, yeah, but in real life? I wasn’t sure I was there with her. Not yet. I just really wanted to be.

Emma

I could have died right there when Parker brought up that time I fell. That was so embarrassing. I knew I was blushing, but decided not to let them get to me, so I laughed it off with Caden. I had probably died and gone to heaven anyway. Walking into this bar with the band, I felt like I had won the lottery. Previous times, when we’d been at a bar with them, we had been two in a crowd of many and we had stayed in the background. Watching Parker flirt with other girls was hard. All I ever dreamed about was to have him look at me that way. Funny thing was, tonight he did. Tonight, I was the only girl he paid any attention to. All evening Parker had left his arm on the armrest next to me. I cherished the contact, not knowing if it was intentional or not. His skin was warm, the hair on his arm tickled me, but I wasn’t moving. We downed a few more shots, too, and I could really feel it. I was getting dizzy, and definitely more than a little tipsy. Looking up I saw the owner of the bar come over and he leaned down to Parker to talk to him. With Parker being the obvious leader of the pack, I understood why people were drawn to him. Parker listened intently and then nodded.
“Hey guys, they wanna close the bar, so let’s get out of here!”
He proceeded to thank the guy, shaking his hand. The guys protested loudly, but Parker just blew them off saying, “Take the party to the bus, guys.”
Lucas shouted over the noise.
“When is bus call?”
I saw Parker check his watch and then answer.
“In half an hour.”
Oh no. I looked at Sophia and saw her face go from utter glee to utter misery. This was it, they were leaving, the night was over and we would have to go back home. Clearing out of the bar, Parker took my arm to hold me back. We walked out next to each other, but behind everyone else. Once outside, Lucas called for a cab. Parker looked down at me. “Would you walk me to the bus?”
Not wanting to miss out on a single minute he was here, I said, “Yes.”
It was easy. Sophia was already getting in a car with Jack and I mouthed to her “See you there.” She nodded as the door shut. I looked around, realizing that we were the only ones left. I had this man all to myself. I was suddenly nervous and started fidgeting with my purse. Parker looked at me but didn’t say anything. We just started walking towards the venue.
“Is it always like this?” I asked.
“What do you mean?”
I looked around me. It was dark and strangely quiet for London, only a couple of people outside minding their own business.
“I mean, do you always party like this after a show?”
Parker laughed.
“You mean, are we living the rock star life?”
It was my turn to laugh. I felt a little embarrassed.
“Sorry, that was a stupid question.” I stuttered.
I may have looked calm on the outside, but the alcohol had me buzzing on the inside…the alcohol and the fact that Parker was there. This was as close as we had ever been. “No babe, it’s okay. We don’t always go out like tonight. Most days, it’s a beer or two to calm down after the gig, before we all go to sleep or whatever the guys do in their bunks.”
I thought about Parker in his bunk and my mind went crazy with ideas. Shit girl, you need to stop fantasizing! We continued walking and my mind raced backwards. Previous times, at bars like this, I’d kept quiet and invisible. There were two reasons for that. One; I never knew what to say to any of the guys, and two; it gave me a great opportunity to check them out, and that was by far one of my favorite pastimes. Parker and I kept a slow pace as our steps brought us back to reality. Tomorrow would be back to work, back to the monotone life I’d been getting used to. This evening had been a welcome break. He didn’t stop until we could see the bus in the distance and then pulled the both of us up to a wall, into darkness. For me, the clock stopped right there. He stepped in close to me, ignoring my personal space, and I felt him breathe more than I saw it. I was looking at the pavement when I felt his hand under my chin, pulling it up.
“Look at me,” he said.
I blinked. Twice. Meeting his icy blue eyes always made me catch my breath and it was no different this time. I looked at him, followed his eyes as they roamed over me. The “Emma” coming out of his mouth was more of a whisper and I said nothing. His hand was on my neck, in my hair and I could have sworn he wanted to kiss me. All I could hear right now was my breathing and his. In and out, in perfect unison. I don’t know if it was the alcohol talking or if this night had finally made me admit what I knew to be true, but I whispered quietly to him.
“You saved me. I would have drowned without you, Parker. You saved me.”
He let out a small hum, a rumble in his chest. I lifted my hand to place it over his heart. Looking up at him I saw hunger. I saw need. And lust.
“Emma…”
He leaned towards me. His nose touched the tip of mine. His forehead rested against my own. I closed my eyes so I could memorize this moment, enough that I would be able to bring it back up when he left. His hands came up to the sides of my face and I felt relaxed where I had thought I’d feel panicked. His thumbs were soft against the skin they were caressing. Parker’s mouth was open and when I licked my lips I felt his breath on them. This was more intimate to me than any hug or kiss would ever be. Having a man like Parker hold me like this without feeling me up or wanting to make out, it was amazing. Parker straightened slowly, holding my gaze glued to his. He ran one hand through his hair and let out a long breath and then grabbed me for a hug. Holding me close, I felt him against me. He wanted me as much as I wanted him; I felt proof of that against my stomach. I smiled into his chest. I didn’t want to be the first to break the hug, so I held on tight. I felt safe in his arms. And not alone.

Parker

I watched her get into the cab I called for her. I didn’t want her to leave, but the bus was headed out in a few minutes, so all I could do was make sure she was safely off before I had to go. I walked back to the bus and stepped inside. The guys were busy drinking, and asked me to join them. I stayed for a beer before I headed upstairs to find my bunk. Touring was fun, but I missed being alone. Grabbing my headphones, I put on some music to shut the world out. I pulled the curtains for some privacy and closed my eyes. She looked so sad when I put her in that cab. There was a sharp pain in my chest, not a kind of pain I recognized, but not entirely unpleasant, so I stopped myself from following that thought. I knew it had to do with her. There was no question about it, I had fallen for her. I was completely and utterly lost in her beautiful person. Her smile, the way she moved, her sense of humor. She was such a beautiful girl. I wasn’t sure she felt that way, though, and thought to myself that I needed to reassure her. I wasn’t able to stop thinking about her, so I brought up my phone and sent her a message.
– Your eyes are beautiful, like emeralds.
The answer came fast.
– Yeah, and you’ve had too much to drink.
I chuckled. She was probably right, I’d had a bit more than usual, but I loved how it made me feel careless and free.
– I really like you, Emma.
I pressed send before I could stop myself. I’d blame the alcohol later. I hadn’t been able to say it to her face and I beat myself up for it. I had my chance and didn’t take it. I felt stupid. I looked at the screen, waiting for it to light up. It took a couple of minutes.
– Don’t say that, Parker. You don’t get to say that. Not now, after you left.
She was right, of course. I felt like I had lost my chance.
– Please don’t hate me…
This time she was fast.
– I don’t hate you, Parker, not even a little bit. That’s the problem…
Oh shit! There it was. I sat up, bumping my head in the overhead bunk. I swore and just laid back down. I brought up her number, wanting to call her, but took a breath, locked the phone and closed my eyes again. Give her time, Parker. That would be my mantra from now on.

Emma

I sat there, waiting for him to reply, but nothing ever came. I waited and waited, but nothing happened. Did I make a mistake right now, sending that text? I pretty much bared my heart right there and the guy left me hanging. Jeez, Emma, you can be so stupid sometimes. I eventually found my way to bed, but sleep didn’t come easy. Twisting and turning the way I did made my sheets super warm and thanks to the alcohol, my thoughts were running wild about that last text I sent. It just made it that much harder to sleep. I ended up getting out of bed to open the windows and strip down to my panties. I finally cooled down enough to fall asleep only to have my dreams filled with images of Parker. I woke up exhausted the next morning, but turned to grab my phone and check it for texts. There was nothing. My Twitter alert for Parker had lit up, though. There were a bunch of tweets from him, all talking about how last night’s show had been special, one of the best in a long time, and at the end a short one: This is when I start living. I wasn´t entirely sure what he meant by those words and I tried not to put myself into the equation. It couldn´t possibly have anything to do with me anyway, right? I got up off the bed and walked into the bathroom. I ran the water really cold and got in. While I was shampooing my hair, I wasn´t able to stop thinking about Parker. Last night had been unforgettable, a night I would cherish forever. There were a handful of other events like that one. The one I really remember was back when I won a dinner with the band. I had been so nervous and even felt too sick to go, but Sophia made me. The guys had all been so down to earth and relaxed and that night had soon become one I looked back upon with utter happiness. Having been to see them so many times, it was inevitable that they at some point would remember me. I never expected anything, but I came to know early on that Parker knew who I was. He had always been kind to me, probably no more than he was to anyone else, but it still made me feel special. He would answer my questions at Meet & Greets and make sure I got good photos. He’d sometimes reply to my tweets, not often, but enough for me to know he remembered me. I got out of the shower, smiling as I thought of those happy times, and pulled a towel out of the top shelf of the cabinet. I was about to close the door when I saw a piece of paper up there. I wrinkled my forehead as I pulled it out. There wasn´t supposed to be anything but towels on that shelf. It was just a folded sheet of paper, nothing on the outside of it, but as I unfolded it there was a handwritten message on it. My knees gave out from underneath me and I found myself on the floor. Holding the paper in my hand I read it.
“Baby, I love you. Thank you so much for breakfast in bed today. You are the light of my life.”
I was shaking like crazy by the time I finished reading. Teardrops fell onto the paper as I read it again, and I realized what I had found. It was Tom´s handwriting. I had made him breakfast in bed the day before I left for the concert. The day before he died. Grief hit me right in the face. I felt as if I had been slapped as the feeling of shock took over. I pulled my towel up to my face, the towel that Tom had to have lifted to slide the paper underneath it; one of the last things he had touched in the apartment. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what his hands looked like. I struggled with it and I felt devastated when I couldn´t. I was already forgetting him! It hurt. It hurt so bad that I just curled up on the floor covering my body in the towel, crying. It wasn´t until the phone rang, what must have been hours later, that I got up, wrapped the towel around my body and walked back into the living room. I checked my phone and saw the missed call was from Sophia. I didn’t trust my voice enough to talk, so I just took a picture of the paper and sent it to her. I turned my phone off and crashed on the couch, pulling my favorite blanket over me. I felt completely drained and the thought of having to hold a conversation with anyone was extremely unwelcome. I put on a Dangerous album and dozed off to my favorite music. I woke up way later from banging on the door. I sighed, but got up. Sophia was outside. Her makeup was a little smudged, like she´d been crying. “Girl, what is going on?” she asked me.
She hugged me tight and I actually felt a bit relieved to not be alone after all.
“I found this under a towel in the bathroom earlier.” I explained, and gave her the paper I’d had crammed into my hand.
“He must have written it the day we left for Amsterdam.”
“Oh shit,” was all she said.
And then, “You look like shit!”
Checking me out, top to toe. Managing a small smile, I went to the kitchen to make her a cup of coffee. She followed me in.
“Did you get any sleep last night?” I asked as I gave her my favorite mug, band merchandise, bought at a concert. She took a sip and shook her head.
“I´m so tired it´s a miracle I´m standing up.”
“I know the feeling,” I said.
“Got any plans tonight?” She checked her phone and looked at me.
“Nope, I´m staying here and we´re ordering Chinese food. We´re gonna eat, have some wine and just hang out, babe, a proper girl’s night in!” I
loved her for always knowing what I needed.
“Perfect,” I said.
“So, babe, did you see Parker’s tweet from last night?”
The question came out sounding completely inconspicuous, but I knew better. She was curious, too, about what exactly he meant.
“Yeah, I did. Doesn´t really make sense, does it?”
“No, I’m not sure I understand what he meant about that.”
Sophia looked intently at me.
“So… did anything happen last night?”
I dug the menu, from that awesome little Chinese place down the road, out from a drawer and sat down next to her. As we both tried to figure out what food we wanted, I told her everything that happened yesterday, realizing my mood was on the way up and I felt so relieved having a best friend to lean on.

“Love Comes Twice” is set for release 04.30.17.
Available for preorder now, on iBooks and Barnes and Noble.

What does it take to be an Author?

I sometimes wonder, what does it take to be an Author?
Is there some kind of rule that says you have to have written a certain amount of books to be an Author? Or do you have to have a specific education?
Are you an Author only if you have been published?
What is the measure, exactly?
I don’t know, I’m not an Author, am I?
I’ve written one book, and recently started a new one.
But, as much as I love it, I still have a day-job. I still have to make a living, somehow.
This whole thing about being an Author is a work in progress.
Maybe I’ll get there someday.
For now, I’m just a person who writes…

I thought, for the sake of Easter, that I would share another chapter with all of you.
I hope you like it, and if you do, drop me a comment? I would love to hear from you.

Love – Gry

Chapter six

Emma

Things were happening too fast now for me to sort out what he meant. Mac was rushing us downstairs and I could do nothing but concentrate so I didn’t tumble over down the stairs. Sophia and Jack were in front of me, Parker behind me. I saw Caden’s blonde curls turn the corner at the bottom and figured Flame and Lucas were already down. They had a show to do in just a few minutes and I still had no idea where they’d put us. Coming around the corner downstairs I realized we were behind the stage. I could hear the crowd screaming for the band and I knew how they felt. The excitement. The torment of waiting. The tension that had built up during the day. It was all about to be released. Mac turned as we all gathered there. He exchanged a look with Parker and turned to Sophia and me.
“Where do you want to be?” he asked.
Confused, I looked at him, then Parker.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well, you can be back here waiting, but you want to see the show, right?”
I laughed, feeling a little nervous.
“Yeah, I would like that.”
“So, your options are, I get you a couple of seats on the side of the stage, or put you down in the front. Your choice.”
Sophia and I looked at each other, not quite believing what we heard. Did he just offer to get us to the front row five minutes before show time? My grin was widening.
“Front row?” I asked Sophia and she nodded vigorously.
“Front row it is,” Mac said. “Let’s go!”
I turned to follow, when Parker grabbed me by the arm.
“Wait!”
In the darkness surrounding us it was hard to see his face, but his eyes had this glimmer in them.
“What do you want to hear?” he whispered.
“You take requests now?” I answered, knowing that would be a first.
“Only for you, babe, only for you.”
His eyes had an almost sultry look and I was about to have a meltdown right there. Parker Hill was flirting with me!
“Just Because It Hurts,” I whispered.
I risked a glance behind me. Mac had his back turned, the band was busy getting ready and Sophia was talking with Jack. It was Parker and me. He closed the distance between us and carefully placed his hand on my hip and gave it a small tug. We were so close now that I felt his flat stomach on mine. His was hard. Mine was soft, but they fit perfectly together. Parker put his other arm around me, engulfing me in his warm arms, and however overwhelmed I felt, I also felt curious, just a little scared and a whole lot of turned on. He ran the tip of his nose from the crook of my neck all the way up to the ear and goose bumps covered my body. I turned my face towards him and we had this beautiful moment right there, where everyone else had disappeared and it was just him and me. When Mac snapped us out of it by shouting “It’s time!” I was disappointed. And left dangling. Parker straightened and let me go. He smiled wide at me making those darn butterflies appear again. I would never be able to resist this man. Tom had made it easy before, but now… I was in trouble. Taking three big strides to the stairs that would bring him to the stage he yelled to Mac, “Get them out there!” and pointed towards the audience. Then he was gone. I gathered my thoughts and looked to Mac for guidance. He had a huge grin on his face and I felt my own go red. I was blushing, I knew, and Mac had seen why.
“We gotta go now if you want to get out there,” he motioned to the crowd.
We moved fast and Mac pulled aside a curtain, only to have the audience go crazy. He spoke to this massive security guard who looked at us and nodded.
“You ladies follow Brian over here. He’ll find you a good spot.”
We walked up, and coming around the curtain I realized that we were in the press pit. Right smack in between the stage and the barriers. Brian waved us forward as he was talking to someone on his intercom. Another guard came up from the other side heading straight to the center of the crowd and started moving people backwards, not an easy task, considering the fact that those people had been waiting outside all day to get the best seats in the house. I grabbed Sophia’s hand as it finally sunk in. Mac was putting us in the front. I flashed a wicked grin at my girl and could tell she felt what I felt. Excitement surged through me as Brian helped us both over the barrier, down into the massive crowd. I turned to apologize to the people behind me, only to see the two nasty girls from the Meet & Greet. Oh, crap. This would be interesting. They were talking between them, giving us both a poisonous look. Brian leaned over to get my attention and said, “Don’t go anywhere after the show, I’ll be back to pick you girls back up out of here.”
I smiled wide but reigned myself in when one of the girls spoke.
“What are you? Some kind of band whore?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a smug smile. What in the actual hell? “Excuse me?”
I turned back, to look her straight in her eyes but she wouldn’t meet mine. Her eyes diverted to anywhere and everywhere else. Sophia touched my shoulder and shrugged when I looked her way.
“Forget about it!” she whispered in my ear.
“They don’t know the truth.”
She was right. They knew nothing about Parker and me and I was not going to tell them. They were probably just jealous anyway. Let the bitches talk. I truly didn’t care. The music started and I lost myself in Jack’s beats. Pure adrenaline surged through me as Parker came onto the stage not stopping until he was on the edge in front of me. He winked at me and then raised his arms to rouse the audience. They screamed! Parker Hill was known for his naughty boy attitude, his never-ending flirts and ability to charm his way into whatever, or whoever he wanted. He had a dirty mouth, at least in public, and paired with that unbelievably hot body of his, he was the wet dream of every single woman in the room. And he was looking at me. I took a moment just to feel, understanding that this was pretty special. Sophia’s words earlier resonated in me, could she be right this time? Could I be allowed to feel love again? Shutting the world out, I thought about Tom. Would I want him to go through life alone if I had died? Did I think that he’d want that for me? No. Tom would be the first one to tell me to get back out there. I smiled to myself. Pain stabbed my heart briefly, but disappeared again. I wasn’t quite able to decide what to do, but right there I gave myself a free pass for this evening. I threw my arms in the air and joined the choir. Sophia screamed so loud next to me I thought my ears would pop. This was nothing short of amazing. It was just a few songs into the show when a sudden pain in my back startled me. Someone punched me in my ribs. What the hell? A stone dropped and I quickly understood that it was one of those blonde numb nuts that had hit me. I turned, only to witness a seriously ugly look coming from both of them. I lifted my shoulders as if to ask “What?” and they started laughing. Wow, they are such assholes! Deciding not to let them ruin my night, I turned my attention to the stage. Parker was busy singing, but I could tell he had his eyes on me. His face was grim behind the mic. I smiled towards him just to show him everything was okay. He gave a small nod and jumped up on one of the large speakers to the side of the stage. I smiled, he looked so hot. The skanks behind me let me be for a couple more songs. Then, one of them kicked me in my leg. I screamed in pain, bending down to grab the sore spot. God damn, that hurt. One of them pushed me just enough for me to lose my balance and I smashed my head in the barrier. Those damned bitches! I saw stars as I slid down to the floor. I had tears in my eyes and my head hurt like hell! Sophia crouched down next to me. There was some commotion from up front and all of a sudden the music stopped. Parker and Caden were at the edge of the stage, looking worried. Flame was talking to security. Brian, the huge security guy, came up on the barrier in front of me and Parker suddenly jumped down from the stage. Not a smart move as the crowd now went mad to get to him. With Brian on one side and one of his buddies on the other, to hold the audience off, Parker leaned over the barrier to pull me up. He spoke in my ear, “I’m getting you out of here!”
“No, wait!” I felt my head for bumps.
“I’m okay. Can I just see the rest of the show? I really want to see the rest of it.”
I looked up at him as he took measure of the two behind me. Looking pretty furious, he barked orders at Brian who proceeded to grab one of the girls and pull her over the barrier. She straightened as Brian grabbed the other one. Probably thinking she’d be getting “the treatment”, she turned to grin at me, made a face and flipped me off. Parker looked me over one more time.
“Those two are out of here,” he said.
I wanted to jump up and down and hug him, but eyeing the people next to me, I gathered myself and just said “Thank you! Now, get back up there!”
He did, grabbing his mic right away and started talking, “We just pulled a couple girls out of the crowd for attacking another. We want everyone to feel safe at our shows, so please, people, take care of each other! We love you all!”
That’s all it took to get the crowd going again, and in between the cheering, the music started again. The girls in question had been pushed out of the pit and I couldn’t help it, I laughed. Brian now hovered close to us and I was grateful, but the threat was gone with the girls. I settled into singing each song with Parker, cheering with Sophia and checking out the guys on stage, who were all hot in their own way. It was a kind of bliss I hadn’t allowed myself after Tom. Towards the end of the show, Flame brought an acoustic guitar up to the edge of the stage. Parker joined him, bringing with him a barstool to sit on.
“We’re slowing it down a bit this evening.” Parker spoke into the microphone.
The crowd went off, louder than ever. I had to hold my ears.
“This next song was requested by someone close to me, and I’m more than happy to give her what she wants.” he said with this naughty grin, and before I could even think, Flame started the intro to “Just Because it Hurts.”
Everything stopped. Wow. The band who never took requests, and the man who never dedicated a single song to anyone, had done just that. For me. Shit, shit, shit. Sophia’s arms were around me and not knowing if I’d be coming out of this standing, I grabbed onto her. My mind went off. What was happening right now? Was I being stupid, maybe he didn’t mean me? It could have been anyone. What would people say, or think? How could I hide? Did anyone else notice? The thoughts stopped as he started singing. You could do a whole lot with a few good-looking guys, some good songs and a big production. But, when you have real talent on stage, that’s when you know it’ll be huge. Parker Hill had that. His voice was one I could pick out of a crowd…sometimes silky smooth, sometimes rough and hard. He’d go through every emotion in one show. Flame Mayheart had picked those strings since childhood and what he could do with a guitar, no one else could. While the rest of the band was silent in the background, these two played this one, beautiful song, bringing out all the feels with the ladies. I saw tears running, mascara smudged and a whole lot of shiny eyes. This was magic and I adored every single second of it.

Brian hauled us out of there just before the show ended. I wanted to see all of it, but he explained that he would be too busy later to be able to take care of us. I couldn’t argue. Mac was right backstage welcoming us with a smile.
“Did you have fun?” he asked, almost fatherly.
Sweat covered my forehead, I was pretty sure my makeup was smudged and I now looked like a raccoon, but I laughed and nodded my head. Out of all the shows I’d been to, and there had been more than a few, this one would go down in the books as the best one so far. He gave us the thumbs up and motioned for us to follow him. He took us back upstairs, but this time he lead us down the hall to a door with a sign that read “Dressing Room.” I looked at Sophia and mouthed “OMG!” at her. Her eyes were huge and her face was red. We were led into the Dangerous dressing room! Mac opened the door and led us through.
“You ladies are welcome to wait here. The boys will be up soon. And help yourselves to any refreshments.”
He was out the door again before I could even open my mouth. We were in a huge room. There were four giant-sized couches and a couple of clothes racks and suitcases pushed up against the wall. There was a table running the length of one wall filled with snacks, booze, beers and what not. Everywhere I could see, there were personal items, clothes left over the back of the couch, some on the floor, and several boots and shoes, not necessarily in pairs, left in a pile. There were empty bottles and garbage on the floor. The guys were obviously slobs, but I wasn’t surprised.
“Can you believe this?” Sophia squealed.
“I wonder which suitcase is Jack’s?”
“Hah,” I said and laughed at her.
“Are you gonna go smell his socks or something?”
She crossed her arms, as if actually thinking about it, but then started laughing. Her shoulders were shaking, but she managed to answer.
“How the hell do you come up with that stuff? It’s so gross!”
Looking around she quieted down slightly.
“We’re in their dressing room, babe! Seriously! This is kicking everything-cool-we-ever-did’s ass!”
And she was right about that. I mean, we had done some cool stuff with this band. I was closing in on 40 shows over the last decade, and Sophia had seen even more. We’d been there from the very beginning, back to the 2-300 people venues where the band knew the faces of practically everyone. We had travelled all over Europe for shows, the only thing we hadn’t done for them was cross the Atlantic. It was on my bucket list. I walked around the room in complete agreement with Sophia. This was unbelievable, and by far the closest we had ever been to this band. There had been the odd meet at a café. We’d had drinks at a bar with them more than once, and we once won a dinner along with the band and some other fans, but never anything like this. I was wondering what had changed, when the guys shuffled into the room, high-fiving and chatting over each other, clearly still on a high from the concert. Caden went for the fridge and took out a few beers which he proceeded to toss over to the other guys. Looking at me and Sophia, he asked, “You want one, too?” I smiled and nodded and he threw one to each of us. He was lucky I was good at catching stuff. Sophia, though, not so much. She dropped the can and it rolled underneath the couch. She swore and Caden laughed. Leaving them to it, I turned as I opened my can and saw Parker making a habit out of leaning on the doorway. He lifted the beer Caden got him and said “Cheers!”
Right behind him, Mac was trying to get through the door and gave him a nudge in the back. I saw Parker’s whole persona shift into something way more playful before he shouted “Invasion!” and all the guys scrambled on their feet and ran towards the door. I would have paid big money to see the look on Mac’s face one more time as he realized what was going down. Some sort of routine they had? I had no idea, but the excitement in the guys was infectious and we all laughed. Mac started running as they followed down the hall and I heard shouting and laughing out there. A little too freaked to follow, Sophia and I stayed in the room.
“Boys will be boys,” she said and we both burst into laughter.
A couple minutes later, the boys came back, still cheerful, loud and dropping jokes between them. Parker, too, seemed at ease and happy as he shuffled past me to reach for some clothes in a suitcase.
“Shower, then food,” he smiled and walked out.
I sat down next to Flame who was now draped over one of the couches. Lying on his back, he had his feet over the back of the couch and one arm dangling down the side. The other one held a can of beer and he was completely relaxed. Flame was always quiet. He would watch people and probably knew far more about anyone than they would care for. He was currently eyeing Sophia, whose eyes were glued to Jack. Jack was busy getting his sweaty, drenched t-shirt off his back. I chuckled, only to find Flame’s attention move my way.
“She likes him.” was all he said.
I just nodded. He proceeded to say, “I think it’s mutual.”
I turned to look at him again and felt a little surprised that he would share that with me. Then, he lowered his voice and asked, “How are you holding up?”
By now I was downright shocked. Flame wanted to know about me? Wow. I took a deep breath trying to figure out what to say, knowing he was asking about what happened to Tom. What I came up with was, “It feels like I’m being strangled, but the loop around my neck slips a little every day.”
He stood up and let one hand rest on my shoulder.
“It’ll get better, honey. Slowly, but surely it’ll get better.”

“Love Comes Twice” is set for release 04.30.17.
Available for preorder now, on iBooks and Barnes and Noble.

Can I gift you Chapter five?

Love Comes Twice – Chapter five

Parker

Leaving her was the hardest thing I had ever done. I didn’t want to go. I had stayed with her for a few days, helping her get settled while being careful not to intrude. I went with her to Tom’s funeral, too, but stayed in the background, as invisible as I could be. That first day, when I got up to go back to the hotel, she’d asked me to stay.
“Please don’t leave me?” she pleaded, and her eyes were so big and beautiful that I stayed. I stayed up that night until I was sure she was asleep before I blacked out on the couch. Her sobs woke me up in the middle of the night and my heart hurt for her. Half asleep, I dragged myself off the couch and pushed her door open. She was tossing and turning, so I gently woke her up. She didn’t open her eyes, but grabbed my arm and pulled me into bed with her. Surprised, I tried my best to keep my distance but she rolled onto her side and put her head on my shoulder. I caved and held her gently while staring at the ceiling. My mind and her presence made it impossible for me to sleep. I only dozed off a few times during the night before finally crashing completely around 6:00 a.m. My sleep was not as calm and quiet as I would have liked. Having Emma in my arms sent me into an erotic dream, one where she let me explore her body and mind. When I woke up, I was hard as a rock and we were glued together, her back to my stomach, my arms around her, our legs entwined. My cock had nestled itself in the cleft between her buttocks and every little breath she took resonated through it and sent shivers down my spine. I cherished the moment and closed my eyes to memorize the way our bodies fit each other. Her gasp alerted me and told me she was awake and had realized how entangled we were. I loosened my grip on her and she slid out of my arms. She turned to look at me and even gave me a hint of a smile. I had expected worse.
“I’m sorry I woke you,” she said as she pulled an oversized sweater over her head. Her eyes followed the edge of the covers. They were barely covering my stomach now and her interest was obvious.
“It’s okay. You hungry?”
She nodded, so I got up to fix her some food. Rummaging through her cabinets I found a can of beans. Her fridge kept eggs, bread and even a few slices of bacon. I threw a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and got cooking. We found a quiet pace, one where I was more or less silently helping her. She’d set her mind to it. Most of the clothes Tom had were being packed away. It was like some kind of therapy for her, to check each and every piece of his clothing. She’d fold them neatly and then put her nose in each item, getting one last whiff of him. So, by the time I decided I had to leave, almost all of his stuff was gone, packed up and delivered either to his parents or to charity. I don’t know if she wanted me to stay longer or if she was happy having me out of her hair. I could’ve stayed there forever to take care of her, but I had obligations, such that I couldn’t hold them off any longer. The band needed me. Jack had stayed at the hotel while I was with Emma, and he told me he’d spent some time with Sophia. He was cool as always, but the rest of the band was getting pretty restless. I didn’t want to ruin anything for them, I just couldn’t stay. Jack met me outside Emma’s place, checked out of the hotel and ready to go. The cab was picking us up to take us to the airport and Jack was busy putting his and my bags in the trunk. I turned and looked up. Emma was in the window of her apartment, arms crossed, but looking peaceful. She had found her center these last few days. I knew she would be okay in time. I gave her a smile and a nod. She lifted her hand as if to say goodbye. I didn’t really do goodbyes, so I got in the cab and it drove away.

Emma

Parker leaving made me feel lonely. He’d stayed for the funeral, helped me get through that day and been a rock through a week that felt like an eternity. He’d helped me get my bearings and find my footing in this new life of mine. I still felt miserable most of the time, but I knew how to cope, how to get up in the morning and start a day I didn’t welcome. He walked me through those first rough days like he’d always been there. He’d been kind, caring, understanding, never stepping over my boundaries and never pushing me into anything I didn’t want to do. He’d held my hand through packing away most of Tom’s stuff. He’d made sure I ate, showered and got dressed. He walked me to my first day of work after all this mess, and he picked me up when that day was over. I had gotten used to relying and leaning on him and I knew I would miss him. I also knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would see him again. I would be able to call him if I needed to. I was determined, though, to stand on my own feet. Resting my head on his shoulder had been good, but I now had to face a new way of living, and I had to figure that out by myself. So, when the cab left and drove down the street, I just went to get ready for work, not feeling anything. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t sad. I was just numb and I welcomed the feeling.
When people told me that everything will go back to normal, at first I got mad. Really mad. Tom was gone and nothing would ever be normal again. But, slowly, day by day, it did. I settled into a rhythm I could live with. Get up, go to work, go home, have dinner, watch TV, go to sleep. It didn’t leave much time for me to think, and it was perfect; for a while. Parker kept sending me these little, short texts. Like “How are you?” or “What’s up with you?” Nothing big, just enough that I would remember he was there. He was truly a great guy, but I couldn’t let my heart sway his way. Not now, not yet. I still loved Tom over everything and it made me feel guilty thinking about a different man. The thing is, though, when everything is perfect, it gets awfully old, and after a while I started feeling bored. It was one of those nights the phone rang. I looked at the screen and it said “Parker Hill.” I wrinkled my forehead wondering what was up, as he wouldn’t usually call.
“Hey,” I said as I picked up.
“Hey Emma,” he replied almost instantly.
I was silent long enough for him to start talking.
“Listen. We have a gig in London tomorrow night, seeing as the last one got cancelled. Do you wanna come out for a show?”
I thought about it for one long second and realized I really wanted to go.
“Um… yeah. I’d like that.” I said. “But, can Sophia come? I really don’t feel like going by myself.”
“No, for sure she can come,” Parker said.
“Listen, I’ll have a car pick you up at six. Be ready, okay?”
“Six sounds great. Thanks Parker.” I replied.
I smiled. This actually felt good. I got out my good top. Black, netting at the back, but fully covered in the front, short and tight. It looked damn good on me. Paired with jeans that hugged my ass and my best pair of black pumps, I felt good. Sophia wanted to do my hair, but I just said “Leave it down” and smiled.
“Yeah,” she said, “it looks better that way anyway.”
She had screamed when I called her with the news yesterday. She cancelled her appointment at the hairdresser and said “Fuck yes, I’m coming!” like she would have ever said no to that. I smiled thinking about it, so she asked me, “What are you smiling at?” I told her honestly, “I just feel happy I’m able to do this with you and I haven’t felt happy in a long time.”
It had been six weeks since Tom died and it still hurt pretty bad, but it was manageable. Doing this, going to a show again, would probably remind me of that day, but I was hopeful that the joy of seeing the band would override that. So, at 6:00 p.m. Sophia and I were downstairs getting into a limo. He sent us a freaking limo! We hopped in and I felt a surge of excitement. The driver showed us where to find glasses and urged us to have a drink. We found a bottle of champagne and looked at each other.
“Can we open this?” Sophia said.
“I think we should,” I smiled back at her and cracked it open.
We made a toast to friendship and sat back to enjoy the trip, the drinks, the feeling of companionship and letting the thought sink in that we were going to a Dangerous concert once again. We pulled up to the venue and there were already probably hundreds of people waiting in line. I knew some of the people crammed up to the door, way up front. I had been right there with them so many times. I felt a little nervous thinking I wouldn’t be able to see Dangerous from the front row this time. There was no way we’d be able to sneak up there, even with a bunch of “friendlies” already in place. I looked over at Sophia.
“You know, it’ll be great, wherever we end up.”
“How do you always know what I’m thinking?” she said.
We grinned at each other as we both knew that was our thing. We could take one look at the other and know exactly what she was feeling. I was waiting for the driver to stop and let us out, but the limo slowly passed the crowd and moved around the corner. People in line were eyeing the car, probably wondering if it was the band. I saw some of them pointing and some seemed to want to leave the line, but didn’t. My secret little fangirl did a twirl inside me; she was definitely enjoying this.  We finally stopped at the back entrance and the driver opened the door. Climbing out, the only person I could see was Mac. I smiled. Now Mac, I knew!
“Hey handsome!” I yelled at him.
He grabbed and hugged us both and laughed. What a cool guy. Talking into his intercom he said; “They’re here.”
What? He opened the door behind him and motioned for us to go inside. I couldn’t believe it! Was he bringing us in early? Sophia took me by the elbow. Her face was one big grin and what a welcome sight it was. As the door closed behind us, Mac turned towards us and started talking.
“I’ve been told to take care of you ladies tonight, but I also have a ton of other things to do, so you have to be patient with me.”
I had no idea what to say, but Sophia took care of it for me, “That’s awesome!”
Mac continued, “I don’t know, do you maybe want to go to the Meet & Greet?”
Sophia and I were suddenly talking too fast, both trying to get the message through that we wanted to, both not believing our luck. Sophia even squealed. We were going to meet the band again! She continued babbling, “Can you believe this? We’re gonna go see the guys. How lucky is that? I guess the Gods finally heard my prayers.”
I laughed, feeling her completely. Mac walked us through the venue explaining that the M&G would take place in about 10 minutes, we would be able to sit through it, and also get the chance for some pictures with the band at their request. At their request? We looked at each other again. Did we hear him right? Had the band really requested our presence? I couldn’t quite believe it. I mean, Parker had been awesome to me, and he’d proven himself to be a real stand-up kind of guy. I expected nothing from him, though, and I was sure he knew that. We’d had that one week where I felt utterly dependent on him, but I felt as though we’d been in this bubble we would both forget about when it was over. Texts or no texts, I had no doubt in my mind he would give little to no thought about me when he left. He had been a great companion through what might have been my hardest time and I owed him my sanity. He owed me nothing. The guy was a rock star for crying out loud. Having him invite us to a show was nothing short of amazing, but I had initially thought that he’d just give us tickets and that would be that. That alone would have been magic. This treatment, however, was a massive surprise! Mac brought us up a couple of flights of stairs into a long hallway. The first room on the right, the one he brought us into, was empty aside from a box filled with t-shirts that was left on a table. There was a sofa in the far corner and a couple of chairs next to it.
“Okay,” Mac said, checking the watch on his arm.
“I’m going to leave you ladies here while I go get the rest of the people attending the Meet & Greet. We’ll be back in a few minutes and then I’ll go get the band. Is there anything I can get you before I go?”
I smiled, Mac was a total sweetheart.
“No, Mac, we’re good.” I said.
“I’ll have someone bring you some water.” he replied, and then walked out.
Sophia turned to look at me, grabbed my hands and we both started jumping up and down, laughing. I felt Free. Free and happy for the first time in six weeks. A little, tiny nudge in my stomach reminded me that I was supposed to be hurting, but I ignored it. I wanted this. A swift knock on the door startled us and we stopped jumping. Leaning on the door frame, Parker had folded his arms over his chest and was watching us with a smile on his face. I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomach. How long had he been there? “Look,” he said, as he walked over.
“I gotta get out of here before Mac brings all the crazies up here, but I wanted to come say ‘Hi’.”
I pulled my eyebrow up and gave him a look, “The crazies?” I asked with a hint of a smile. He chuckled and said, “Yeah, yeah. I wasn’t talking about you two.”
He took Sophia’s hand and pulled her a little closer, giving her a friendly peck on her cheek.
“How are you, sweetie?” he said to her.
Sophia grinned wide.
“I’m perfect, how about you?”
Parker turned to me and pulled me in for a hug that kind of took me by surprise, but it felt incredibly comforting as he replied over my head, “I’m feeling better by the minute.” We suddenly heard people talking on the staircase, so Parker let me go and hurried back to the door. He gave a courteous bow and laughed.
“Gotta run, see you in a few.”
And then he was gone. I let go a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and tried to sort out my emotions. I had been drooling over this guy for so long, but having been so happy with Tom it had only ever been dreaming. I had never allowed myself to even think about a future with him; I mean, he was way out of my league, right? And it would have brought me nothing but misery. But now? Now I didn’t know what to think. Conflicting thoughts about being loyal to Tom, but still wanting this man so badly made me flinch. Fans of the band started to file into the room and I had to get a grip. I put my arms around my body to steady myself and at the same time Sophia came up to me to give me a hug. She whispered to me, “You know, honey, it’s not illegal for you to love someone again.” I was shocked that she would say that, but had no time to sort out how I felt about it as Mac was back and started talking. He quieted down the room and motioned for everyone to go to the rear of the room.
“You will all be allowed one photo with the entire band. There will be no individual photos today as there is no time for it. You’ll be able to grab a complimentary t-shirt on the way out.”
He then continued to explain that the band would be standing close to the door and that after each person was done with their photo, they would be led back out of the room. Sophia and I were in the back and that meant that the room would be empty by the time it was our turn. I flashed my teeth at her, knowing she had followed my thoughts. We held hands and smiled. About 30 people had filled the room and I couldn’t see much, but I could hear from the commotion up front that the band must have arrived. I heard cameras flashing and Mac’s voice telling them to wait. The room was emptying out slowly and every now and then I got a glimpse of Parker. Whenever he was not looking in the camera he was looking at me. There was a smoldering warmth in his eyes that I wasn’t sure was for me or not and, also, I didn’t know if I would welcome. But, I still had to admit that I liked it. The man was fine! I would never not check him out, that was for sure, and I knew it would take a long time for me to get my fill. We were down to the last eight or nine people when I realized a couple of them were staring at me. I had seen these girls before, at a few different shows, maybe even more than that, but we had never spoken.  They were the obnoxious kind that we would stay away from, the ones that would be rude and run after the band given the opportunity. We had always held ourselves to be too good for that.
“You two weren’t downstairs waiting for the M&G with us, were you?” one of them said.
I looked her straight in the eyes and lied.
“Yeah, we were.”
She shook her hair out and pursed her lips.
“No. I didn’t see you. How did you get up here?”
I really didn’t want to get into this. Girls like her would gossip and spread ugly rumors I didn’t need. I was desperately trying to think of something to say and looked over at Parker. He was talking quietly to Mac, motioning towards the girls. Mac promptly turned and walked over. He took one girl by the elbow.
“How about it, ladies, you wanna get your pictures?”
The two of them luckily forgot all about us and I saw Parker wink at me. I snorted! Saved by the rock star himself. I found it funny that he had paid enough attention to notice what was going on. In a moment of weakness I winked right back at him, clearly taking him by surprise and as a camera flashed, his mouth was wide open in shock. I laughed out loud and as I met Jack’s eyes, I noticed that he too knew exactly what was going on. He elbowed Parker and made some joke I couldn’t hear, but that made them burst out laughing. I heard chuckles from the rest of the band, too. It must have been something funny. I wasn’t going to ask, though, no way, but the room felt lighter somehow. Cheerier. I was actually enjoying myself. The last few people got their pictures and left in the room were only the band members, Mac, Sophia and me. It felt awkward for only a second as they all walked up to us to chat. Mac fiddled with a camera.
“Can we just get these pictures done before you start chatting up the ladies? I need to get some work done here!”
We all laughed, but lined up against the wall to get it done. Jack grabbed Sophia around her waist and pulled her in with him all the while she was laughing and kicking. When had they gotten so darn friendly, I wondered to myself. And how had I missed it? Lucas, Flame and Caden filled in behind them as Parker took my hand and pulled me in with him. He held me close to his body and I knew right then and there that this would be one of those pictures that would never make it online. Every decent picture ever taken with the band had gone straight to social media. This one, though, with Jack and Parker each holding a girl this tight? No, we needed to protect that. I felt Parker’s face in my hair as I heard the camera. Click. Click. Click. Feeling at ease this close to him, I turned towards him and put my arms around him. Click. Breathing slowly, I knew there was something surprisingly right about this. His hand, that had been resting on my shoulder, slowly moved down my back, down to my waist. Parker was caressing the small of my back, finding a gap in between the jeans and my top where there was naked skin. A short breath slipped out of me and he stopped for a second. Not wanting him to stop, I let my hand slide over his back. It started again, and we were there, in our own little bubble as the camera went off again.
“Great!” I heard Mac say.
“These look great. You guys have 15 minutes till stage.” he said.
“Do not be late!”
He had his finger in the air and I had to laugh. Parker looked down at me with humor in his eyes and whispered to me; “Are you ready for this?”

“Love Comes Twice” is set for release 04.30.17.
Available for preorder now, on iBooks and Barnes and Noble.

Want more? Here’s #4.

With no further delay; Here is chapter four.
I love the idea of sharing these with you and I would love it even more if you would share with a friend.
I’ll make you a deal.
You share this site; www.grysorensen.com on twitter or facebook or whereever you’d like, really. Then send me “proof” at grysorensenbooks@gmail.com.
I will then gift my book to 10 lucky winners and include a shoutout on my twitter; @grybooks.
Have fun reading!

With love – Gry

 

Chapter four

Parker

Determined to see her through everything, I grit my teeth. The pain she’s in resonates in me and although she’s admitted to needing my help, she still keeps me at a distance. I keep trying not to step over her boundaries, but it’s difficult when all I want to do is grab her, kiss her and make everything better. Emma is hurting and she will be for a long time, but I still can’t stop myself from thinking she’s free. Now is the time for me to try my luck and charm my way into her life. But, the moment I allow myself to go there is the same moment I’m ashamed for even considering it. The poor girl lost her boyfriend. Her long-term lover. The one she wanted to grow old with. And here I am, wanting to get in her pants. I’m disgusted with myself and take a moment to gather my thoughts. I have to be so much better than this. I want to be there for her and I’ve got to make sure she comes out the other end still alive and breathing. Being what she needs and wants right now is more important than anything, even if it means burying all of the feelings I have for her already. I can wait. I have to wait. I’ll wait forever for this girl. I still remember the first time I saw her at a show. By then, the tours we did in the US were getting large, but we were still relatively unknown in Europe. We had started out at small venues holding no more than 2-300 people. Most of them were fans that had come to the US to see us before, or the ones we chatted with online. This time we were in London, and this girl, she was new. She was wearing a silly shirt with our band’s name pasted all over it in neon colors, hard to miss in the lights from stage. She was small, but not tiny. Her hair was so long, flowing in the gentle breeze from the fans blowing under the stage. It was the color of dark chocolate. She had green eyes so big you could mistake them for the brightest star. She wasn’t skinny, nor was she fat, but she had curves. Oh man, those were some beautiful curves. It was the neon shirt that caught my attention initially, but the bright green eyes were the features that made me spend most of my time during that gig right in front of her. I remember flirting viciously with her, and I remember her blushing as I did. We weren’t huge back then, our band, not in Europe. Because we considered our fans to be the number one reason we got to play anywhere, we always used to take some time outside the venue after every show to meet the fans. We still do it, but it’s getting scarier by the day. There are a lot of crazies out there. But anyway, this evening there weren’t all that many people there. I hadn’t forgotten about this girl as I went outside and I remember I was hoping for her to be there. I guess I can thank my lucky stars, because there she was, right in the middle of the street, with her friends. I had some girls come running after me. There were always a few. But this one, she saw me and smiled, but didn’t move. I knew in that very moment that this one was different. Working through the few people there, I was signing stuff, taking pictures and saying thanks for coming. But, all I wanted to do was to talk to her. I finally got to her little group and started shaking hands, introducing myself. I was purposely trying my best to keep my cool. I mean, it wouldn’t look good for a supposed rock star to single out one lady. Weren’t we supposed to have one on each arm, and then a few more…? So, when I finally got to take her hand, I shook it gently and said my name. She was a little shy, I could tell, but she squeezed my hand and told me how much she had enjoyed the show; and then went on to say “You’re so sexy!”
I laughed out loud as she slapped her hand over her mouth. ”
Oh God, I said that out loud, didn’t I?” She asked, as her face went a little pale.
I just grabbed her and pulled her in for a hug, hiding her face to give her some time to recover, all the while letting the rumbles in my chest tell her that I didn’t mind. When I let her go, I immediately asked the other three if they wanted hugs too. It was for no other reason than to hide my interest in her. So, we all hugged and took a few pictures. When it was her time for a photo, I got a little bit closer than usual, just enough that I could tuck her head underneath my chin, and smiled straight into the camera knowing she’d probably want bragging rights for later. Let her brag all she wants, I thought. I want to see this one again. I left them scrolling through the images they had taken and walked inside to talk to Mac. I asked him to get her number, too, but he came back empty-handed.
“She said she has a boyfriend,” Mac explained.
I remember pulling my hair, kicking myself for always wanting what I couldn’t have.
A quiet sob brought me back to reality. Emma was crying again. I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out a clean hankie and handed it to her. She didn’t look up until I touched her knee, but when she did, I saw the utter despair on her face. She took the hankie, neatly unfolded it and hid her entire face in it. Her shoulders were shaking, and I felt a surge of pain rushing through me. I really didn’t want her to feel like this. I put my arms around her and held her until the sobs subsided. We were heading straight to the hospital. I asked her earlier if she wanted to stop by her place, but she shook her head vigorously, as if that would be hell to bear for her. I understood her. That place was theirs, and Tom wasn’t there anymore. So, to the hospital it was. It felt weird to me to take her to see her family. Well, his family. But still, this was her home turf and I knew nothing about it. I could easily let my imagination run away with me, but the only things we had in common at this point were concerts and music. Pulling up to the entrance I wasn’t sure what to do, or even what she would want me to do. Sophia was out the door surprisingly quick and Jack headed out after her, leaving me with Emma. I leaned over to her, careful not to touch her, and asked: “Do you want me to walk you in?”
She looked up, her eyes red from crying, and said; “No. I have to do this on my own. You should get back out on the road.”
Scared out of my mind that this would be it, I protested. “No, I will be here for you. Jack and I agreed. So, when you want to go, we’ll be here.”
She gave me a crooked smile and stepped out of the car.

Emma

The main entrance to the hospital was bright, so bright it took some time for my eyes to adjust. Sophia and Jack had already walked up to the door and were chatting quietly. She looked at me as I started walking and said something to Jack. He just nodded and she came my way. Linking her elbow into mine, we walked through the door leaving the guys outside.
“They’ll be here, waiting,” she said to me, but I wasn’t really listening anymore. Deacon, Tom’s father, was standing in the middle of the reception area and opened his arms wide when he saw me. He looked so much older than last time I saw him. I ran over and crashed into him. This man had been my dad for all intents and purposes since around the time Tom and I started dating. He was my mentor, someone I looked up to and trusted, and he loved me like he loved his own kids. I clung to him and we both cried for a long time. He eventually cleared his throat and asked, “Do you want to see him?” I answered him honestly.
“I don’t know.” T
he thought of seeing Tom in a hospital bed, even had he been alive, was scary. The idea of seeing him there, dead, was downright terrifying.
“I don’t know if I can handle it.”
Deacon took my shoulders in his big hands and looked at me.
“He looks good,” he said. “It’s like he’s asleep. But he feels different to touch…”
His voice cracked a little saying that and I understood how difficult that must have been for him. His only son was dead.
“Can I go in alone?”
“Yes, darling, you absolutely can.”
I took three big breaths, trying to steady myself, and then pushed the door open. The doctor had told me what to expect, but words are just that; words. I could have never been prepared for what I saw. It was Tom alright, but also not Tom. Taking a few steps closer, I could see his face and it looked okay. The entire right side of his face was covered in a bandage so I couldn’t see, but the rest of it was as beautiful as I remembered. I stopped when my thighs hit the edge of the bed. Looking down, Tom’s hands were folded neatly over his chest. His skin had a strange, sickly color to it and I felt nauseous. I closed my eyes to breathe only to discover there was an odd, metallic scent in the room. I had no idea what to do. What do people do when they see their loved ones dead on a bed? But, I knew this was it. I would never see him again. Never touch him. I would never be able to feel his love and his warm body next to me. I felt completely lost and alone, so I crawled up onto the bed and laid down next to him, resting my head on my arm. I was startled by his cold skin as it touched mine. I hadn’t thought he’d be cold. I raised my hand to touch him and it was the weirdest thing. His skin was cold and dry. And dead. His hair, that used to do whatever it wanted, was combed back. It was strange and it made me angry, so I put my hand in it and tousled it up. Something was still off, though. It didn’t feel the way it used to, and it wouldn’t move like it always did. It was stiff and unfamiliar. I laid my head down to rest on his shoulder. He was cold. Cold, and hard. This, I realized, just wasn’t Tom anymore. This was just a body, and that thought alone broke me completely. My tears fell by the bucket loads. I couldn’t stop myself, but held onto this body for dear life while I got everything out…stroking his chest, brushing my fingers against his facial features, touching every little bit of him visible over the sheets; memorizing what I could. This wasn’t fair. He wasn’t supposed to go. I knew that I still needed him desperately and that feeling made me nauseous. I don’t know how long I stayed there, but slowly becoming aware of the room around me, I felt I needed to get out of there. I was probably not the only one who wanted to say goodbye. I sat up and got off of the bed. I turned towards Tom and took everything in.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Then I turned and walked away.
The next couple of days I was cooped up in a hotel room courtesy of Parker. It meant the world to me that he would do that for me, but I couldn’t stay for long. I didn’t want to depend on him. He and Jack had a room next door. I kept on nagging them about touring, but I couldn’t seem to get through to them. How could I get across to them how important it was to me that they continued to play gigs, when talking about it gave about as many answers as talking to a brick wall. They just couldn’t get it through their thick heads that if anything bad happened to Dangerous, it would be the worst that could happen; at least to me. This morning had been particularly tough on me as I had a dream about Tom, and I wasn’t quite able to shake it. He had been carrying me around in the woods. There were strange trees with no leaves and the ground was black and wet. We were both naked, cold and alone with each other; not a sound, no animals or people, not even a gust of wind. Just silence. And him. And he’d been taking care of me. I couldn’t let the feeling go and it felt like Tom was still around, so the pain kept hitting my chest. I showered, got dressed and walked over to the next room where I knocked twice. It took a few moments, but Parker opened the door and asked me in.
“No,” I said. “I’m thinking of going home for a bit, but I don’t want to go by myself.”
I bit my thumbnail, too embarrassed to look at him.
“Give me two minutes and I’ll go with you.” Parker said.
I could have kissed him for saying that. Going home scared me like nothing else and going alone was not something I wanted to do. I had thought about calling Sophia but I really didn’t want to bother her, plus the fact that I couldn’t bear to see the pity on her face. Having her feel sorry for me was more than I could handle right now. I lingered in the hallway, not wanting to get too close, but he left the door open; so, when he pulled his shirt over his head to change it, I was staring at a perfectly ripped chest.
“Jeez,” I muttered, more to myself than anyone.
“What?” he said, as he was tucking his shirt into his jeans.
I didn’t bother to reply, but turned and started walking towards the elevator. He came running just as the doors opened and we stepped in. Alone in the elevator, he didn’t say anything, just pulled me in and held me. The move was so sweet I felt my chest tighten. “I’m scared,” I whispered to him.
He said: “I know. But, I’m here.”
I believed him. Parker was a stranger, but I trusted him completely. He would be there when I needed him. The danger was that I might need him too much, and that scared me. We caught a cab in the street and I gave the address. We rode in silence. I didn’t know what to say anyway, so it was okay. It felt good, even to just sit there in silence with someone. We so rarely do that anymore, just enjoy quiet time together. As we pulled up, I felt cold inside. Parker took care of the cabby and I owed him once again, because all I could do was stand there and look up to the windows in our apartment. One window was slightly open. I guess Tom had forgotten to close it. The lights were left on. Typical Tom. My hands were shaking as I pulled the keys out of my purse. The tiny pink teddy bear that Tom bought me when we got the apartment was dangling from it. I wobbled as I stepped up to the main door and pushed it open. I did not know whether I would be able to actually climb the two flights of stairs to our door. It took forever to get up there. Every step had a memory attached to it. The first one was where Tom had sat me down one night after we’d been out late and I had been too drunk to walk. He’d turned me around and kissed me right there. The third one was where he’d leave while shutting the door behind him, making sure it was locked at night. The chip in the tile on step number six was there because he dropped a hammer out of his back pocket while carrying furniture the day we moved in. I could tell a story about every step and I remembered all of them as I walked. I reached our floor and stopped dead in front of the door, fiddling with the keys. When Parker put his hand on my shoulder, he spooked me. I realized that I had forgotten he was still there.
“Do you want me to open it?”
He pointed at the door. All I could do was nod and watch him as he took the keys out of my hands. He unlocked the door and opened it slowly before taking a couple of steps back. I guess he didn’t want to go inside before me. I took a deep breath, bracing myself, and walked inside. I walked straight into the living room. I didn’t have the courage to look around quite yet, so I headed for the open window so I could close it. It was almost as if I needed to busy myself so the pain wouldn’t catch up. My fingers graced the curtain before I slowly turned and looked around. It was still home. A very quiet and very strange place, but home. There was the picture of Tom and his family. There was the blanket I always had on my lap in the evening, thrown over the sofa where I left it. There was Tom’s PlayStation, not even shut down. Everything as usual. But, there was no Tom. He’d left half a pizza out on the table, as if meaning to eat it later. How was he to know later would never come. I picked it up and folded it into the trash.
“What can I do?” Parker asked.
I didn’t have an answer for him, so I just pointed at the couch.
“Just sit there.”
I wasn’t sure if I could handle being here alone right away, and having him there took off a lot of that burden.
“Just be here?” I asked him while hugging myself.
He took off his jacket and sat down, got comfy in my favorite part of the couch and actually looked like he belonged. The pain in my stomach was back again as I followed that trail of thought. What the hell was I thinking? Tom hadn’t even been gone for a day. I felt sore and raw everywhere, but I’m thinking of another man? I slapped myself internally and started checking the rooms. The bathroom was normal, laundry on the floor, but Tom had emptied out the washer and dryer and folded everything. I picked up the clothes and walked over to the bedroom. The covers were a mess, as always. I smiled at the thought of Tom getting up, throwing everything over me and then me having to dig my way out of a huge pile of pillows and covers. His clothes were on the floor. I dropped the laundry I was carrying onto the bed and went to pick up his clothes. His favorite t-shirt, the one I had bought him at a Dangerous show, was on top of the pile. I lifted it to my face and pulled in his scent. My knees buckled and I sunk down to the floor, laying myself on top of his clothes, digging my hands into what I could get a hold of. The tears were streaming again as that familiar scent surrounded me. This was going to be so hard. Not knowing what to do, I pushed everything and everyone out of my mind, leaving room for Tom only as I laid there, on the floor, crying. It took a few minutes for me to come to my senses enough to know that I wasn’t alone anymore. There was a hand on my back, gently stroking my hair, and tissues in hand ready when I needed them. And silence. It was like he instinctively knew what I needed at all times. The strokes on my back, knowing I wouldn’t want him to hold me right now, tissues for wiping the tears off my face, and the silence I so appreciated. How could he know I desperately wanted company without having to explain myself or talk about it?
But he knew, he just knew.

 

“Love Comes Twice” is set for release 04.30.17.
Available for preorder now, on iBooks and Barnes and Noble.

Chapter Three for you.

As promised, here is Chapter Three.
I hope you like it. Next chapter will be ready early next week. 🙂

Love – Gry

 

Love Comes Twice – Chapter Three.

Parker

What the hell, where did she go? Emma was right there, but now I can’t see her anymore. Getting away from these girls is hard, but I politely try to get myself out of their grip. I start walking and see Sophia is still there, but she looks out of sorts and is pale. She’s watching someone. Is Emma sitting on the sidewalk? Something weird is going on, and I make my way through the crowd to get to them. Another fan is grabbing me by the arm, but thankfully, she quickly picks up on the fact that my mind is elsewhere and lets me go. I turn to apologize to her before I turn back around, only to find Emma lying on the ground, obviously out cold. I rush over there, asking Sophia: “What the hell is going on? Is she sick?”
Sophia is just standing there, her hands hanging down her sides, one of them holding a phone. She seems lost. I gently lay my hand on her shoulder and give her a quick shake.
“Hey!”
She slowly looks at me, confused.
“What’s going on with Emma?”
She suddenly snaps out of it and goes: “Oh my God, Tom died!”
Oh shit. Oh shit! He died?
“How, when, what happened?”
She’s shaking.
“Emma, oh Emma, she passed out!”
Sophia is looking around. She’s agitated and restless. Sad. Looking at the phone again, then at me, she suddenly comes to life.
“You gotta help me get Emma out of here! We need to get her out of here!”
She’s loud. I nod her way and bend down to take a closer look at Emma. She’s passed out alright, poor girl. Her hair is covering the ground, spread out like flower around her head. Careful not to tug it, I put my arms under her neck and knees and lift her up. I position her close to my body. She’s still out, but I feel her breathing against my neck as her head rests on my shoulder. I start walking towards the bus as I yell to Jack, “Jack, I need you to open the bus door for me, help me out!”
Being such a good friend, he’s there in a flash, pushing his digits into the panel next to the door. I carry Emma inside, careful not to bump her into anything, and head straight for the couches in the front. Once there, I lay her carefully down on one of them. I remove her shoes and cover her with a blanket. I turn around and bark orders to Sophia and Jack.
“I need some water and a towel, and probably a bunch of hankies if you can find any. Sophia, I’ll take care of her, okay? Just call back to whoever called her and ask for more information.” Sophia nods and picks up the phone again. Being absolutely confident that Jack will take care of her, I turn my attention to Emma. I stand up and take two seconds to figure out what she needs. She’ll be crying. A lot. I rummage through the closets until I find a couple fresh handkerchiefs, not wanting to wait for Jack and Sophia. Someone pats my back and when I turn, I find Jack with two bottles of water and some towels. I give him my best thank you look and turn my back to him. I kick my shoes off and remove my jacket. T-shirt and jeans. Perfect. Then, I turn my attention fully to Emma, who is still out cold. I grab one of the towels and open a bottle, soaking it in water. I sit down next to Emma and gently clean her face with the cold, wet cloth. She stirs and slowly opens her eyes, adjusting to the dim lighting inside. As I look down at her, I scan her face for emotion and find her eyes slowly filling with tears to the brim. My heart breaks for her. A single sob leaves her body and I do the only thing I can think of; I lie down next to her, pull her as close to my body as I can, and hold her tight while she cries.

Emma

I don’t know where I’m at, but I’m lying down. I open my eyes and see a mirrored ceiling. I’m cold, freezing actually. My hands are icy. My mind races to my toes. Where are my shoes? And why is there a blanket covering me? Startled, I realize; Tom. Just as I was going to get up, I remember. Tom is gone. I can’t breathe. That’s what happened. My heart hurts and the tears start falling. Someone is holding me, but this sadness fills me too much. I don’t know who it is, and I don’t care. I just cry. I still feel like I’m having trouble breathing. What am I going to do now? I can’t live my life without him! This is the worst joke ever. I need to call my mom. She’ll laugh and say it was a joke. Right? My body isn’t cooperating with me. It’s shaking, sobs leaving my body in an ongoing stream and my face is wet, but my mind is travelling. It’s like mind and body aren’t connected. I’m at home, in bed with Tom, and he is holding me. We’re on our sides, towards each other, and I have my face buried in the crook of his neck. I can smell him. He smells like home. Breathing in that scent, focusing solely on that, I feel like I’m slipping away again. Not wanting to feel anything, I welcome the darkness.
The feeling of utter anguish and sorrow wakes me up.  Where’s my phone? I don’t know. I need to call my mom. Someone is dabbing a hankie in my face, wiping my tears. I open my eyes and see Parker. He is lying next to me, tight as can be, and I surprise myself when I realize I don’t like it. I want to go home to Tom! I start to cry again but somehow manage a blubbering “Where’s my phone?”
Parker lets go of me and sits up. Leaning on one arm while scratching his head with the other, he turns to look at me and says: “I think Sophia has it.”
I feel raw and vulnerable. I shouldn’t be here. Not with him, not now. I need to bail. Trying to get up, I’m stopped by Parker’s hands on my shoulders.
“Stay here, I’ll get Sophia.” he says.
“Stay here and rest. You’re safe and I’m going to take care of you. I’m so sorry for what happened. Just know that whatever you need, I will be there for you!”
He looks my way again, running one hand through my hair. I jerk my head back, what the hell?
“Don’t!” I say.
He tilts his head to one side, makes a grim face and quietly says: “I’m sorry.”
He gets up and walks away and I’m suddenly alone. All alone. I can’t be alone. I sit up, trying to figure out what to do, all the while tears are still running down my face. Sophia is right there, sitting on the double seats in what can only be the tour bus.  She takes one look and practically jumps over to me, grabbing me hard and holding onto me. I release everything as I hold her like she is my only lifeline.
I don’t know how long it’s been, but Sophia and I are clutching onto each other, both still crying, me worse than her. My chest feels so heavy. I have tears and snot everywhere. Pulling back slightly, I look at her sweater. It’s wet and slimy from all of my crying. She hands me a towel and I start to wipe her clothes and my face. She grabs a hold of my hands.
“Don’t worry about the clothes, sweetie. Cry as much as you need to.”
Sitting on the edge of the couch, I lean forward and put my face in my hands.
“Did you talk to anyone?” I whisper.
She rubs my back.
“Yeah, your mom.”
“What happened?” I ask her, in between sobs.
They keep coming.
“He went cruising with his friend, remember?”
I nod.
“They were at an intersection when a truck hit them. Drunk driver. Honey, the truck hit the passenger side where Tom was. He didn’t stand a chance.”
That last sentence comes out like a whisper and along with her hand gently caressing my back, I feel her pain from having to tell me that.
“Sweetie, I don’t know what to say. I’m…I’m so sorry! I wish I could do something, well anything that… that would make this better. Easier.”
I pull her in for a hug.
“No. It’s okay. There’s nothing you can do, it’s…..nothing you can do. We just need to get home.” “Yeah. Uh. I think Parker’s on it.”
“Parker? What’s he up to?”
She looks at the door.
“He’s sorting it out, said something about a jet.”
“What? What do you mean, a jet?”
My hands are busy fiddling with a handkerchief.
“I mean, he’s trying to get you home.”
“Why would he do that?” I ask.
“Well, because he cares?”
“I don’t even know him, this feels weird. Awkward.”
“Yeah, well, don’t you think you should take it? If it gets you home faster?”
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
She’s gotten up and is pacing back and forth in what little space there is.
“Look. Do whatever you need to do, you know? You need to get home, to see him.”
She won’t even look at me saying that. I get it. Seeing my dead boyfriend. The one solid thing in my life. Who is now gone.
“Yeah. I want to. But, I don’t. You know?”
“I know! I know, sweetheart.” she says.
My hankie is crumpled in my hands.
“I don’t know what to do without him. I can’t think straight. I can’t breathe. I don’t understand! What happened? What did I do?”
These questions are falling out of me.
“What did I do to deserve this?”
Sophia turns to look at me.
“Sweetheart. You didn’t do anything. It’s just that sometimes, life is hard.”
“No, it’s not hard, it’s unfair!” I argue.
She wipes her forehead.
“Yeah, I know.”
Someone is entering the bus again.
“I don’t wanna see anybody right now, but I can’t stay here either.”
“I’m guessing it’s Parker. You should let him in.”
Sophia walks over. Parker is standing just inside the bus door, phone in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.
“What’s going on?” he says.
I sigh. The tears have finally subsided to a minimum, not stopped, but they’re not overflowing. I look at him and I feel I need to thank him.
“Parker. Um, thank you for taking care of me.”
“Yeah, no problem, I mean, this has got to be hard.”
I can’t say anything, so I just nod. He walks in and sits on the bed.
“What do you wanna do?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“I mean, do you wanna go home tonight? Our jet is fueled and ready at the airport for you the second you need it.”
I look up and meet his eyes. Thankful, all I can say is a hoarse “Yes.”

It took 15 minutes to get everything ready and into a taxi. We made a stop at our hotel to pack up and check out. Parker insisted on coming with us, even though I told him over and over that he needed to stay for the next show. He clearly disagreed. So, there we were, Sophia, Parker, Jack and me. Jack’s excuse was wanting to go where Parker was going, but I suspected he had his eyes on Sophia. I was happy for her, but too worn out to joke about it, or even say anything. It’s funny how being a celebrity makes everything go so much faster at an airport. We rushed through security at Schiphol and were immediately taken to the private jet that belongs to Dangerous. It wasn’t huge, but it had all the trimmings and I couldn’t help being impressed, even in my misery. Parker grabbed my bag and pulled me inside, then proceeded to put me in a huge, soft seat.
“Do you want a blanket?” he asked me and I nodded.
I was wiped out, feeling empty and let him tuck it around me. We were airborne shortly after and I let my thoughts trail, memorizing the last time I talked to Tom, so I would never forget. I could almost feel his eyes on me, his arms around me. Almost. The thought of it had my eyes watering again. It would only ever be almost from now on. I closed my eyes and tried to visualize him. He was a tall guy. That was one of the first things that caught my eye about him, that and a smile to die for. I still remember the first time I saw him at school. He was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans, of course. He was that kind of guy. The “boy next door” who took care of everyone around him. He was talking to some friends as I walked passed him in the hall and he checked me out. It was such an obvious move I couldn’t help but laugh and his lip pulled up in this massive grin. I was done, right then and there. We started dating that weekend and it was like it was meant to be. I felt as though I had never not loved him and the thought of it brought me back to reality. My heart tightened. Again, my body started shaking and I was suddenly crying heavily. I let out a wail as the pain hit me in the chest. Actual, physical pain. Sitting there, I leaned forward, sobbing. Putting my head in my hands, I just let the tears flow. I heard this about grief that you’re supposed to let it all out. I don’t know, it wasn’t helping me much. I couldn’t think of anything that would. My light was gone. Everything I lived for, the reason for getting up in the morning, my favorite person in the world. Gone. And I wasn’t there. I couldn’t save him. I never got to say goodbye. Guilt flooded my mind and the pain got worse. So much worse. Oh my God, I would never make it through this. I felt a hand on my back and looked up. Sophia was on her knees in front of me and as I lifted my head she pulled me in for a hug.
“Sweetie,” she said, and we cried together.
I don’t know how long we sat there. The feeling of being lost and alone weighed heavy on my chest, even in the company of these people. Knowing I could lean on Sophia was just about the only thing that made me want to go on right now. Slowly becoming aware of what was going on around me, I saw Parker sitting right in the next seat. He held a couple small towels in his hands and handed them over as I looked at him.
“Thank you,” I said.
“You’re welcome.”
He smiled back, probably thinking I meant the towel.
“No, I mean thank you for this. The plane, flying us home.”
I didn’t know if a single thank you would even begin to cover it but I had to start somewhere. “Emma, I will be here through this. I’ll get you what you need, support you through the next few days, and help you with anything and everything.” I wrinkled my forehead.
“You have shows to do, you need to go right back!”
He looked over at Jack.
“We cancelled the next few shows, blamed it on some personal stuff.”
I stood up.
“You can’t do that! You have so many people waiting to see you and they will be disappointed!” I was almost yelling. He stood up and walked the two steps he needed to come over to me.
“It’s gonna be okay, Emma. You’re right, but I also want to be there for you.”
I shook my head. Was he stupid? I didn’t need him for anything other than playing his God damned songs. Feeling angry, I took his hand, shook it hard and told him “You’re an idiot!” Jack literally choked on his water, trying to hide his laughter under his coughing. I wanted to slap him. Feeling utterly useless, all I could think of was that I was about to ruin the second best thing in my life, Dangerous. I glanced over at Jack and silently wished him to hell.
“What are you laughing about?”
He straightened in his seat and pulled himself together.
“Nothing. But, Parker is right. You need someone to lean on for a few days.”
I couldn’t agree with them. I wouldn’t. Truth be told, I had no one but my mom, and she certainly had enough on her hands. I’d just be a burden if I stayed there. Sophia still lived in her parents’ basement and it wouldn’t be fair to her or them to crash there. So, what I had to look forward to was our apartment. But, that would hold too many memories right now for me to be able to handle. Tom’s imprint was all over that place and I wasn’t sure I could handle it yet. I needed to check into a hotel for a few days to get my head screwed on straight, and there was no way I could afford that on my own. Admitting to it was hard. Jack and Parker were right. I needed them. It felt awkward having to lean on them. I didn’t really know them and they were fucking famous. I knew one thing for sure. I did not want any part of the publicity surrounding them. We needed to set some boundaries.
“Guys. I don’t mean to be ungrateful. What you’ve done, heck – what you’re still doing for me, it’s amazing. I feel like I’m losing my footing, that’s all, and I don’t know how to deal with it.” Parker hugged me, held me maybe a hint longer than a friend would. I would have jumped up and down with glee a few hours ago. Now, it just felt weird. He wasn’t Tom. I cut loose and sat back down, buckled up to get ready for landing. It wasn’t a long flight, but I couldn’t wait to get off of it and felt relieved when the pilot announced that we’d be landing at Heathrow shortly. Sophia had spoken to my mom earlier and she said they were all at the hospital. He was dead, so why he would be at a hospital I had no idea, but Tom’s parents, Rosalyn and Deacon, were there alongside his two sisters, Erika and Charlotte. Getting off the plane, I realized Parker had arranged transportation for us. A van was waiting as we stepped out of the jet. I put my hand on his sleeve and he met my eyes. I silently tried to convey the rush of emotion I was feeling, as I didn’t trust my voice right now. I would never be able to fully thank him for this. He put his hand on my back as we walked over to the car, carefully steadying me as I got in. He grabbed my bag and put it in the back before he made sure I had my purse in hand, and then he handed me my phone. I switched it on. Missed calls, texts that I didn’t want to open, voicemail…I stuck it in my purse as the car rushed off the tarmac.

 

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